Thanking God for Pete Singer
Give to the departed eternal rest; let light perpetual shine upon them.
Yesterday GRACE announced the passing of Executive Director Pete Singer:
For the five years he led GRACE, Pete did so beautifully. He was a man whose life spoke volumes of faith, of an unwavering integrity, of a heart dedicated to service, and a compassion that knew no bounds. His presence among us was a true gift, one that enriched each of our lives in ways we are only beginning to fully understand in his absence.
Mindelynn and I met through GRACE, invited to be part of a small group helping organize Pete’s visit (with Zane Hart) to Boston exactly two years ago. They came to train, networking, and fundraise. They did do those things, but above all they encouraged, nurtured, and equipped.
The timing of their visit could not have been better for me, as I had just been part of a challenging1 confrontation with a sex offender—the second in as many years. Pete was a lifeline for me that week in Boston, even though I was just meeting him in person for the first time.
Pete lived that rare combination of being rigorously evidence-based AND tenaciously pastoral.
And even as brilliant as he was, I’d often see him advocating for others, promoting others’ work.
His own offerings—whether articles or video interviews or (best yet) lives healed and changed—are a testament to his wisdom, insight, care, perseverance, and kindness.
I can think of a hundred Bad Actors who should have died rather than Pete. Yet Pete’s own graciousness—called to mind just now—keeps me from tarrying with such a line of thinking. He had that effect on people: he could name and fiercely resist evil, yet somehow do it in a loving and gentle way that inspired others to follow suit. And he always centered survivors, the marginalized, the ones hurting and in need. I love him for that.
I’m grieving his loss. And I’m thankful for the elimination of his pain this Resurrection season, although I wish he could be both pain-free and still alive with us.
May God’s perpetual light shine upon Pete.
—Abram K-J
P.S. Below are a few Pete-related links, some of which we’ve shared before.
1. GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) YouTube Channel
There are videos for almost any subject pertaining to spiritual abuse by some of the best thinkers in the space.
2. “Toward a More Trauma-Informed Church,” by Pete Singer
“The church is called to care for those who have been abused. While the church has fulfilled that calling with some survivors of abuse, she has also failed countless people and sometimes created more harm. This article provides guidance for becoming a more trauma-informed church. The most fundamental element of trauma-informed practice is a basic understanding of trauma. Trauma involves an event that overwhelms the normal human capacity to adapt or cope. This event leaves a lasting imprint on the mind, brain, body, and soul. To care for a person who has experienced trauma and prevent retraumatization, a more complete view of trauma is required. Research is clear that one of the biggest factors contributing to resilience after trauma is competent, supportive relationships. Collaboration may occur between the church and survivor, the various people at the church helping the survivor, or between the church and providers or staff from other organizations who work with or may be able to help the person. The church is best able to fulfill this calling when she takes these principles, grounded in Scripture, and lives them out every day as a manifestation of who we are in Christ.”
Click Here to read the article.
3. Who defines safety? Great line from Pete
“Safety is not defined by leadership or those with more power; it is defined by the person who experienced the trauma.” — Peter Singer, from the above article.
4. Additional Resources
Additional resources are available on our Broken Road website, a collection of resources that we have found helpful. Feel free to take time to browse, just as you would a library or bookstore. We hope to develop this into a more user-friendly and searchable system in the future.
For integrity purposes, we won’t include a resource unless we have personally read, watched, engaged, or have relationships with the resources we list.
And we want to hear from you. What resources have you found helpful in processing and healing from pain in faith communities? You can reach us at brokenroad@readfarandwide.com.
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